I love my solitude a little too much.

That’s how I enjoy life. With silence, a companion I never want to part with.

I don’t know what to call it, or should I say I am so focused on my tiny little world that I just don’t want to key in to other experiences of life. I have looked back at my past, and I didn’t experience a lot of fun things, or participate in things that I should have as a young teenager. I am not even attached to anyone or anything from my past. I just live in the moment and I enjoy doing so.

Like my friend will always say, “You don’t like seeing anything from your past”. Well, that’s so true because moving on from things and not missing anything, even memories is one of the abilities I have. But its affecting me and the other aspects of my life. Who needs such.

It’s like there is a moment when I live for others, and once that time expires it would be hard to get anything going with me. I will retreat to my world immediately I feel the need to. I am never curious about what it feels like for life to be any other way except mine.

“You are always quiet” I have had these words a whole lot of times ever since I was a child, but I have not yet gotten used to it. I don’t like when people say I don’t talk, is my silence that loud? What do you want me to say because I honestly don’t know?

I love my solitude a little too much that I am selfish in it. I think that’s where the problem stems from. I want to be left alone when I want to be left alone, I want to do the things I want to do, I just want to be, and there are no two ways about it.

I love my solitude a little too much that I don’t attach to anything deeply, and for that, I don’t believe anyone is attached to me too. But I am loyal, a little too much.

Is it too late to allow people into my world? I don’t even think I am capable of doing that because I think I have tried. How do I do that? How do I love my solitude a little less?

If you read to this point, please leave a comment because I am curious to know your thoughts about my love for solitude. You can also leave claps, tap on the clap button, and hold on to it for a few seconds, that would help you leave as many claps as possible. Try it now.