Letter to my estranged friend.

Hey,

I don’t even know where to start. We have known each other for so long, and yet, it was so easy for me and you to let things go. It’s my fault, I have always kept my thoughts hidden, wrapping my emotions in silence – for the sake of peace. So you just kept doing you, until I reacted.

I have watched you live, make mistakes, cry, and still find reasons to make really funny jokes that I still remember sometimes and smile. We have both smiled through the pain, struggled together, have similar experiences with life, and comforted each other.

But all of that means nothing now. All those times we spent laughing till 1 am over random things, talking about boys, the future, indulging one another’s guilty pleasures, …. it’s all memories now. All of it.

I know that I loved you as a sister, genuinely. Life happened and I chose myself and sanity because even though you and I had those moments together. You were the most toxic person I have ever known.

Sometimes I miss you, I feel guilty for not trying harder even though it was you who pushed me away. Then I console myself with the fact that, this is the first time I didn’t fight for our friendship, take the blame and let things be normal, apologize to you, and act like it was all my fault. This was the first time I chose myself, and you never fought for us.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I mean more to myself than you could ever know. And you made me realize that I could choose myself and still experience happiness, love, friendship, companionship, and everything I ever thought I would lose if I didn’t have you.

I am doing so well, I will always wish you well too. Just that your good news or bad news will never be my concern anymore.

And I hope that one day, if we ever meet again, I will find the courage to tell you that I am happy you blocked me.

I am more than happy without you.

If you read to this point, leave a clap and share your thoughts 🫶